September 3, 2015
If you are an entrepreneur then I know something about you before we even talk, meet, share the same space or work together. You’re a control freak. Yep, I said it and you just nodded ever so slightly in agreement even though you are just reading this. It’s true that most people who start and run businesses have control issues. We went into business because we didn’t want to be put into some box. So instead, we put ourself in a box by insisting that we know best. We stress out about the smallest of details BECAUSE WE CARE!!! But here is the big secret for you and me and all the other people out there who think “if you want something done, you best do it yourself,” this is going to hold you back. You know it and I know it and it terrifies you because your control issues are almost certainly driven by fear. You can be honest with me, I know what’s up. You think you aren’t good enough. Doesn’t matter how great things are going or how successful you become, you are afraid of being exposed as a fraud so you overcompensate. Welcome to the club. Can I get you a drink? I have some good news - we all think we aren’t living up to whatever ridiculous standards we’ve set in our mind. We all believe that if we only work hard enough people will think we are awesome and we’ll be rewarded with positive self-esteem, a rich bank account and an afterlife where we can eat anything we want without gaining an ounce. The worst part of all of this nonsense that dances through our head isn’t that none of it is true... the worst part is that somewhere deep inside we know that the only way to resolve our issues around control are to do the thing that terrifies us most - LET GO. The best leaders are those who can ask for help without feeling like it devalues their own worth. They trust people to be awesome. The most successful people are those who admire the gifts others have and find ways to bring the best out of those around us. Being great, being successful, being imaginative and creative does not mean solving every problem, having every answer, never missing a detail. You are not perfect and no amount of striving to be is going to get you there. So stop. You are in the midst of a great thing - this is your life and you are amazing but please, for yourself and everyone around you that you are driving just a little bit crazy - let go. You are a control freak so I know you are thinking “how do I even begin to do that?” Simple. Call someone and say the following “I need some help and I thought you’d be the perfect person to ask.” You know how good it feels to be asked for help. Give someone else the chance to feel great about what they have to offer. Let go and watch things begin to unfold. In giving up control, you will gain the life you want. Trust me, I understand exactly how hard all of this is for you and that is why I will re-read what I’ve written here about a bajillion times because I want the life I’ve dreamed about and I know it’s time to let go and make it happen.